How we Evolve & Integrate (including the 'Dark Night')
Yesterday I told the story of when I was at mom poo poo Jeep.
And uh a friend introduced me to the poet Gary Snyder and we became buddies and then later in a presentation here in the United States at a University someone asked him who can save the world and he gave a typical then answer. He set up well. I can't tell you who that person is but I can tell you something about that person.
It's going to be someone who doesn't need to save the world.
And it's sort of left it at that so.
What?
What did he mean by that someone who doesn't need to save the world?
Let me see if I can fill in some of the details because it's actually very deep.
Issue.
Uh.
This path
Contemplative based Psycho spiritual growth.
Is how I think of this path it's universal?
You find it all over the planet EW?
Prehistoric historic times.
Um there's an underlying commonality.
Which if you think about it is utterly extraordinary considering the enormous variation in culture language race and so forth that is this planet east-west ancient modern.
Um prehistoric actually when I say ancient Stone Age our remote ancestors.
So there is this.
Very human thing.
This universal human thing that I call contemplative based Psycho spiritual growth.
Uh.
It represents a radical reengineering of our humanity.
So.
I mean, I like to present things as you know sort of in a light humorous way, and the reason is because this is actually such a heavy duty. Industrial strength process. So it's nice to be light and humorous about it and not take ourselves, too seriously, but actually it is.
Uh.
Very heavy duty.
It my phrase is it represents a fundamental reengineering of.
Who we are?
And I'm going to guess that it's the next step in evolution. Although obviously no one could know that. But if you look at how evolution has preceded hitherto. It's through natural selection at a biological level.
And we are the beneficiaries of that process.
Eventually, that process. It took millions and millions of years, but that process produced. An amazingly intelligent species on this planet at least relative relative to the intelligence of the previous species. Now, Yes. We there's other Intel, it quite intelligent. Species elephants porpoises. Other great apes and so forth.
But when you look at our brains, there's just an amazing difference.
Add a physical level, so we're smart.
Um.
And I think that.
Were smart enough?
To figure out that there's a couple little flaws in our engineering. The other species have to just wait for the Darwinian timescale.
Which is mega years millions of years for natural selection or certainly 10s of thousands of years for natural selection to mold through expansion and contraction life and death.
Um mold their evolution.
But.
Apparently, an once again this is conjectural on my part, but apparently natural selection has finally produced a species. Smart enough to actually realize that there are there are flaws?
Um.
The entire
Uh.
European tradition at least post Pagan Europe, the Christian tradition is based on that paradigm and whether or not one accepts the story. the Greek word for story being Mithos Muthos. OK, whether or not you except the myth or the story. You cannot argue with the logic.
That there's something wrong.
Um lookout at the world something's not quite right.
Now.
Now you can say.
And we will say that there is a primordial okayness also.
But on the surface, there's some problems, which sort of makes sense when you think about it because.
Very complex creatures like us can develop problems our own strengths become our weaknesses.
We have these incredibly advanced this incredibly advanced immune system to defend us.
But then what happens.
It creates commonly creates an inflammatory response that kills us inflammation is our defense is sort of overworking overreacting septic shock can do you in so there's something a little off in the engineering we?
We're real smart, so we have real big heads, which is sort of nice but Unfortunately there now, too big to come out of the mother.
Conveniently so the birthing process is very, very difficult for our species.
Uh it's an engineering flaw well, we sort of took care of that with modern up Strat Obstetrix and so forth.
Um.
Uh.
We benefit from bipedalism, we could walk upright. But we get a lot of lower back problems. So it's great, but Darwin is not perfect.
We have this intelligence, but Unfortunately moment by moment before the rational brain gets activated another part of the brain called the limbic system, the amygdala the nucleus accumbens.
Um and other emotional structures.
They got activated first so that.
Are.
Rationality.
Is?
Neural anatomically colored by emotion ality so we have the situation of having this advanced primate brain and in the center of it is essentially the worldview of a Komodo Dragon, and if you ever seen any videos about Komodo Dragons. Their society is not a kind one.
So.
There's some possible problem here.
In the neuroscience field there have been numerous image. Ng studies watching people's brains react to politicians.
And it absolutely does not matter what your politics are.
When you listen to the other.
Your emotional brain lights up and your rational brain just shuts down its expansion and contraction.
So.
Not surprising huh? What happens given that that sort of power engineer.
Um.
So.
Good news is where smart enough to figure this all out. I just said were smart enough to figure it out and were smart enough to.
Correct it.
And the way that that has been done hitherto.
Is certainly a lot faster than Darwin?
But maybe not as fast as we would like because you probably noticed it takes years, and decades. Typically, although we get benefits right away. Otherwise, People would never come back after the first retreat. We do get benefits right away. But those of you that have hung in for the duration know that.
In general, God saves the best for last really, really mind boggling dramatic changes.
Tint to happen after a lifetime of practice what well happiness independent of conditions which is pretty awesome.
So that's still that's pretty quick.
So it's a radical reengineering and.
Who knows?
What's the next few centuries will bring maybe, as we partner with science will be able to accelerate things.
By an order of magnitude I've got a friend at Google. Some of you probably read his books. Jetman Don Tom TN's bank to his friends sets up that's the weird. Chaozhou dialect of Chinese, Singaporean Chinese. I call him. Chun his last name is Chung in Mandarin Chani, Ming, it's really cool name actually.
It comes out jet man in his dialect, but E mean in Mandarin, it means means like.
One voice 1 voice that shakes the world. It's from Buddhism. It's a Buddhist term anyway because he's a Google engineer. He started this search inside yourself thing. Some of you are probably aware of so his thing is 10X stream entry. Timex stream entry is a traditional terravita term for initial enlightenment, and 10X means he wants.
To engineer it so it's 10 times quicker for all humans and we have 10 times as many of them well. Maybe we'll have 1000 or a million times as many of them? Who knows can't say about the future but.
Um.
It is a radical reengineering of who we are.
Um.
So who are we well from an engineer's point of view were.
An input output system are we have sensory input, we have behavioral output.
The sensory input reflects object if conditions.
The behavioral output.
Impacts object if conditions.
Um and in between we have inner and outer sensory experience, I like to classify it in terms of.
Inner and outer see, hear feel with the inner see, hear feel creating the course sense of associated with the core sense of Iamus.
So.
Part of the
Reengineering the radical reengineering I talked about yesterday.
The on the sensory side, the ability to have complete experience.
Um.
Allows us to
Experience discomfort.
With less and less suffering.
And it allows us to experience pleasure with more and more fulfillment.
Um.
So.
That.
Uh.
That has
An impact on.
Our behavior.
The.
Normally.
Behavior is
Driven.
By suffering.
And.
Frustration.
So suffering is physical and or emotional pain.
That is not experienced fully.
Um so.
Sensorially that causes suffering.
And in terms of what we do say, and think in the world are behavior.
It causes a drivenness in the behavior.
Flip side.
Um.
When pleasure fails to deliver the full.
Potential for fulfillment.
It turns into what might be described as frustration or craving same thing.
The experience of a craving in the moment is just an experience of an incomplete pleasure.
You may have heard the notion that the impurities are pure what the hell does that mean well actually means something very, very deep and important it's not just an enigmatic thing that someone said in order to blow your mind or get your attention.
When you have a craving.
For some pleasure.
You have you could have a mental image of the pleasure. You could have some mental talk that says. Hey, I want this?
But you actually get a little taste.
A memory of the physical pleasure and more importantly, emotional pleasures. Rosiness in the chest. A little hint of smile on the face a free soul of excitement going up your back.
Very very subtle pleasure is present in that moment of.
In the sensory experience of desire.
If you are able to complete that pleasure.
Then it won't that pleasure the pleasure that is part of the sensory gestalt of the moment of desire.
Then that pleasure will give you complete fulfillment the pleasure in the desire will fulfill the desire.
If that doesn't happen, then the desire becomes a desire that drives sensory experience because you're not satisfied yet.
Um that was pretty subtle and complex but.
Driven behavior need.
Uh is associated with physical and or emotional discomfort that has turned into suffering and or.
Physical and or emotional pleasure.
That was too subtle to complete was so subtle that you couldn't experience it fully enough to fulfill you right then and there.
And now we're driven.
Um so there is need.
Half of the radical reengineering.
Of this process.
Is?
Sensorially the reduction of suffering in the elevation of fulfillment.
But that is linked behaviourally too.
The reengineering of.
Driven behavior into what for lack of.
A any official word I might call motivated or dynamic behavior.
Uhm I think it's very important that.
The result of our practice, not not make us in different too.
Conditions conditions in our own individual life community nation world.
Um.
So, in order for that to happen. We actually have to take measures to make sure that not only do we have the experience not only is our experience one of reduced suffering an elevated fulfillment?
But our behavior.
Moves is re engineered evolves.
From driven.
Um to dynamic.
So what characterizes dynamic behavior is.
Uhm it is motivated.
Bye.
Pain.
And fulfillment.
It is not driven by suffering and frustration.
Um.
As we evolve?
We go from.
The something iness of self and world.
To a kind of doing this.
Um.
Of space.
However, that.
That.
Rick wires.
Acclimatisation.
Um.
Some People
As they get.
There, as emptiness or no self or nothing nuts, whatever you want to call it.
As that becomes
Evidente.
Some People actually many People probably most People.
Um.
Immediately love it and it is functional.
In most cases, what are my teachers are used to say?
Ah.
A couple drops of emptiness are the best Medison in the world they cures a gazillions diseases, however.
It is not necessarily the case that for everyone.
Um.
Contacting emptiness or no self or nothingness.
Is immediately?
A source of safety fulfillment love and appropriate behavior.
Some for some People.
Um.
You have to sort of cultivate a taste for it.
There's some work required to integrate it.
Um.
So so that it, it is a source of fulfillment.
Safety.
Love inappropriate behavior.
Um.
For some People.
Um.
They have to go through an awkward intermediate zone.
Where are they?
Sort of varying a flatline situation.
Um where in some way it's sort of nice because the old gross suffering an ***** riffic perennial agitation is gone.
But.
The old the old bounces also gone and the edge and the motivation and the passion for life.
Um seems to have left.
I call that the Flatline stage, so some People have no difficulty at all.
Integrating emptiness.
Just.
It's just so obvious.
How is?
Liberating and functional.
Some People have to sort of intentionally train themselves to develop the pallet. The taste for it to appreciate that it is liberating and function.
Some People have more of a challenge.
You go through this flatline situation and now most People don't have much of a difficulty.
Um.
Or they require some training but it's not a big deal.
Um.
Less People have the flat line, but it does happen, I get emails from students. All the time that are in that state.
Um.
Fortunately, the severe end of that spectrum.
So you see I'm I'm presenting to a spectrum of.
Um.
Relationships to the emptiness or no better word phrase would be a spectrum of.
Degree of challenge to integrate emptiness so that it is liberating and motivating so.
And there's the real easy end and that's a lot of People and then there's well take some work, and then there's like takes some more work. 'cause you're in that flat line thing and then there's the deep doo-doo end now. Fortunately, that is in my experience quite River.
But as more and more People practice. It even though it's a relatively small percentage. You're going to have larger numbers of People have to face that and that's going to be part of the.
The shadow side of contemplative based Psycho spiritual growth.
Becoming the norm on this planet. It will be a wonderful thing that that happens, but Hey, we have to be honest, we have to address this.
This issue.
Fortunately, the all of these sort of steps. The spectrum that I'm describing there are affective things you can do to deal with it. Even the really deep and so the deep end.
I call Dark Knight, some other People also call it The Dark Knight.
Uhm it's similar to a known psychiatric condition called DPDR.
Depersonalization derealization disorder.
Which happens to non meditators?
It just happens to People out of nowhere.
The classic report of DPD are is I was sitting in my room and suddenly.
It seemed like I was no longer real and the world was flat and cartoonish.
Anne had no no reality to it whatsoever.
And no matter what I do, I can't get out of this and it's awful.
So the disease names the condition.
Depersonalization.
They've had insight into no self.
D realization.
The world is no longer real.
Disorder and it's a bad trip.
If you go to websites of People that have this condition, some of them know.
That no self and emptiness are major Buddhist themes.
And there's one website where they say, I just don't get it. How can the Buddhists?
Say This is the best thing, that ever happened when this is the worst thing that ever happened.
Um.
Yet.
The great majority of People that do Buddhist practice.
Um.
Do indeed find it to be the best thing that ever happened.
So what's the difference?
Well, I don't know exactly what's the difference.
Someday we'll probably know.
But what I can say is several things first of all.
You probably notice that the word mindfulness is now used a lot.
It's like everywhere, which is a good thing.
But.
And now that it's everywhere.
It's sort of can mean anything.
Um and so the meaning of mindfulness gets watered down in sort of Generalized.
As it becomes a common term.
That's why I'm so adamant to say that what I mean by mindfulness is exactly this.
Well.
People picked up on the term Dark Knight.
Now it's gaining.
Currency.
And it's getting watered down.
And now it's sort of means just.
Any difficulty that you might encounter when you meditate People are starting to call that The Dark Knight. Well, I prefer to have mindfulness be a technical term, not a general Hey. Be aware folks and I would prefer The Dark Knight to mean what it meant for Saint John of the cross, which is in the Catholic tradition, which is where this comes from which is when they finally.
Or in a 16th century into 16th century, Spanish Catholicism, and you definitely had had some ideas about what God was going to be like and it turns out that it's not quite that way.
Um and
It takes some getting used to.
The fact that.
Nothing whatsoever, iness is in fact, Divine.
So that difficulty integrating the emptiness of God.
Ah.
What?
Saint John called it the dark night of the soul.
You start out and you have to struggle with your.
It your sinfulness your selfishness your impurities your.
Lack of concentration you struggle with that, he called that the dark night of the senses. That's the beginning of the meditated path.
But then if you're really successful you have to deal with the consequences of that.
Oh, so he called that the dark night of the soul. So we had a lot of difficulty integrating the nothingness of God, but eventually he did, he was successful.
Um.
So.
That UM.
As I'd like The Dark Knight 2.
Refer to that specific problem.
Rather than just be another word for Hey folks, you know if you meditate you might have to face some gnarly **** and you're going to go through your Dark Knight well. Everyone goes through some gnarly **** just living you go through some gnarly **** doesn't mean you're experiencing depersonalization derealization that you can't get out of and it's a bad trip.
OK, all that's a very, very different critter.
Now.
As I say in my experience. It's relatively rare. So don't think Oh my God. I better not meditate 'cause. I'm sure that's going to happen to me.
So there's a spectrum of.
Challenge associated with integrating.
Uhm the
Integrating the emptiness.
And integrating it means 2 things that it's sensorially it accrues to and empowerment.
And behaviourally.
It does not it does not lead to.
And indifference.
So.
How do we make sure that?
This radical reengineering is successful, well, I've got a lot of talks about this. But just to give you the executive summary.
We're going from.
One kind of passionate life to another.
Um.
The former kind of passionate life was driven by passions in the sense of craving aversion unconsciousness and so forth.
The new passionate life.
Um.
Arises in a different way.
And if that happens automatically fine if it doesn't happen automatically then that becomes part of the training to make sure that it does happen. So let's say that some training is required.
So.
Essentia Lee,
From my perspective, you do the same thing.
For any any place on that spectrum.
The person that needs to do a little bit of effort to integrate devoid. The person that is flat lining Anne needs more effort considerably, and then the rare case of the person who is Essentia Lee paralyzed by the void.
Um.
What differs is not so much the qualitative intervention qualitative part of the intervention? What differs is the quantitative part?
The more difficulty integrating the more more massive the intervention that is required. So it's a matter of amount. But in terms of what you actually do it's pretty much the same thing.
So.
The common situation would be the common problematic situation is not the PDR. It's the flat line so it's like.
How do I? How do I get the old bounce back so?
Um.
Well.
Let me give a bunch of tangibles suggestions.
This is something you can know about for your own practice, but it's also something to know about in teaching others.
Once again as
Mindfulness becomes more prevalent and part of mainstream culture worldwide.
It will be important to be clear about these things.
So let's say that you've gotten some taste of emptiness.
Uhm but there's some challenge in making it integrated.
So.
First, one thing you can do.
Is selectively attempt to what is?
Pleasant in the emptiness now you might say Well, the emptiness doesn't have any pleasure well, it's.
Technically, true but yet.
Can cause pleasant impact on a human?
So what could be things that you would train someone to tune into if they were in a flatline situation well.
I I'd have them look for certain things for one thing the emptiness may carry a tranquility, with it.
And you can train yourself to come.
Uh.
Appreciate that tranquility.
And it may actually take an intentional training.
To sort of TuneIn, Oh yeah, it's sort of nice.
That I can touch this tranquility on demand.
So that's a training it's a development of a pallet of taste for the void.
Um what else.
Now of course, the tranquility might not be something there aware of this is this is a an algorithm. It's an interactive process that I do.
So one thing I ask is OK can you sort of.
Enjoy a tranquility associated with the void.
I use emptiness void no self. They just they all mean the same thing. Some People might quibble that they're different terms, but it's Essentia Lee, the same continuum at the same critter what else? Well, the emptiness might be associated with the disappearance of a boundary between inside and outside.
Uh and that can be.
Fulfilling and give you a sense of expanded identity and Connectedness.
So I checked for that and if that's available, OK now we're going to selectively attend to that.
Instead of attending to worrying about the bleakness of the void.
Well let's look at these factors what else? Well, it's possible that the emptiness is associated with.
Subtle Vibra Tori, Energi.
Um that could be.
Perceived as pleasant so you tune into that.
Um.
If that's available.
Oh, OK well, what else.
Well.
There might be a sense of sort of effortless.
Expansion.
With the simultaneous contraction.
Um.
If so could tune into that that may or may not be present.
So what else can we do.
Um.
All of the things I just mentioned.
I call accentuating the positive.
Then there's illuminating the negative.
Um if you if the emptiness causes.
Fear.
Or.
Uh.
Irritability or any other sort of confusion if there's any.
Or, a disinclination to act.
Those are sensory events.
So everything is empty so.
Why should I bother doing anything at all?
Why should I bother doing anything at all?
Um is is a thought now isn't it?
It's I'm arising in the inner system.
Clearly.
It is not the case that everything is empty for this individual.
Because the perception everything is empty so why do anything?
Ain't empty.
It's a something for that person.
Or the perception.
I thought.
But the emptiness was going to be nicer than this.
I think that's what John of the cross is problem was, he was expecting. the Angels and the try triumph illness. Whatever and instead. He got Nada Nada Where is my People say focus?
So.
I thought it was going to be better than this, no that's no thought that's not empty so you empty out the reactions to the emptiness.
Then there's nothing to get in the way.
Of.
Responding appropriately to object if circumstances.
But now the responses is not driven it just happens and it's powerful and it's magic.
Um.
And.
It's
Progressively, more appropriate.
Just because you're functioning from emptiness doesn't mean that what you do.
Is always appropriate you'll still make mistakes?
Or it makes mistakes.
But then it learns from those mistakes, just like the self self learned from its mistakes. The baby doesn't just get up and walk.
It falls to the right it falls to the left.
But at some point, it equilibre eights.
And the no self doesn't.
Perfectly speak in public.
Or respond to each situation.
Perfectly, it makes mistakes.
It's inappropriate.
But then it learns just like the self self learned.
And if it doesn't then you become something not very pretty.
So don't let that happen, it doesn't learn from its mistakes. You think anything you do that just happens.
And there's no ego.
Behind it.
And so it's OK, no matter what it is even if you're mistreating People now don't think it works that way.
Some People think it works that way. But I'm I strongly disagree with that philosophy of practice.
Um.
OK.
So.
That's it, you now are more and more.
Arising from the situation.
So, your object to behavior comes out of objective reality.
Um an if it's not right.
It alerts you learn whatever remnant of self is there learns the no self learns.
To do it right.
And to the extent that that happens now you started it become a magic person.
That just walks into a situation and magic things happen and it's wonderful for everyone. What else more might be required.
Um particularly with respect to making sure that the actions are appropriate.
From how human point of view.
Uhm you may need to intentionally build certain human habits.
And.
How you build those positive human habits easy nurture positive?
You.
Create an activity called an admirable self.
By training, admirable human traits.
Rational thought.
Positive behavior changes of various sorts.
Um habitual good feelings towards People and so forth well, you can.
Build those by the nurture positive techniques.
So you can use things like focus into deconstruct. The resistance to act or the freak out.
That is a reaction to the void so you empty out the reactions to the emptiness you empty out the disinclination's to act.
And focus in deconstructing the inner see, hear feel.
Is a good technique for that and then you reconstruct or strengthen certain positive habits the nurture positive?
Um.
What else?
Uhm well.
If the old behavior was passionate in the sense that it was driven by passions.
How what's going to provide the bounce for the new behavior well.
The situation.
All the things I just mentioned plus something else.
Uhm you can train your.
Motor circuits into a quality of spontaneity.
We talked we talked about this and done this now in a number of retreats and we're going to be doing it at the end of this retreat, if you look at the schedule the auto.
Uh the
Training not of the sense circuits, but of the motor circuits to enjoy their own.
Natural just happening nahs.
So you can develop a taste.
For what?
Children experience directly, but don't.
Think of as an object because they just it just happens to them, but you know children just like.
Stop in the mud because it's just fun to stop in the mud. It just happens OK. There's a just happiness to the way a child stamps in the mud or runs here runs there.
Well, an adult even if there.
On Alta Cocker like me an old Fogey Crapper, like me can have can still have that child, it's childlike bounce.
Because the circuits are still there, it's the nature of our motor circuits to just happen. So you can train yourself to.
Speak move and even think from the place of bats.
And.
That's what literally puts the bounce back in your step and puts the lilt back in your speech.
Um that's a huge factor.
In.
Making sure that.
The realization of emptiness does not make you in in expressive.
Are.
Or indifferent.
With regards to.
The world.
What else?
Well.
Some People
And this can happen as the result of contacting the emptiness, but it can actually happen, it could be something that you contact.
Um.
The first time you ever meditate. In fact from some People. The thing I'm about to describe is something they've known about their whole life.
Not everyone, but some People have this sense that inside of them.
Is?
A primordial black hole of.
Um.
Dissatisfaction.
That can never be filled.
Um.
Now I'm stating at one way.
People use different language, but there's just this, this void in me that no matter what I try.
It's just never filled.
And it cannot be filled.
Despite that, I keep flailing around in flailing around, hoping to find something that will fill it.
So not everyone not all humans have this perception, but I have found this to be a not uncommon perception something along these lines.
The trick here is to realize.
That yes, indeed nothing will ever fill that hole.
However.
From another perspective.
There is absolutely a way to fill that hole and the way to fill that hole is not to try to do something to fill the hole.
But.
Not surprisingly,
The trick is.
To have a complete experience of that whole because that perception that there is this whole inside of me that can never be fulfilled.
Is a sensory event?
It happens in the inner system. It comes up in life. It may be lurking. All the time in the periphery or sometimes come up strongly now as I say not all human beings have this by any means.
But quite a few do the trick is to realize it is an inner sensory event.
It comes up in some combination albiate, perhaps suddenly and Nebulously, but it's coming up in the inner system.
Now, when something comes up in the inner system. Sometimes you can't quite pin, it down in terms of image talking body motion. But at least you know it is in the inner system.
And that gives you a general direction to poor.
Clarity and equanimity.
Constantly down into that hole.
And Guess Wat just like every other sensory event.
Um.
It eventually evaporates.
And problem solved.
Now, if you filled filled it, you filled it by annihilating it.
And.
So once again, the fundamental drivenness has been worked through.
So when Gary said the kind of person who can save the world is the person who doesn't need to save the world.
What he was implying is a human being who has been.
Re engineered.
Um.
In a radical way.
Because he was giving the Zen poetry answer.
Um.
Uh.
He didn't fill in the details.
You'll notice that the details took a full hour to describe.