How to do Healthy Merging

If you do a healthy merging or someone.

It's not just good for you, it's good for them.

And they won't feel they won't feel.

Invaded in anyway.

And that's a That's a skill that's a skill of being able to do the merging and not make it look like you're invading them. Somehow, yeah, sure I have to practice that.

So when you when you help help healthy merge with someone.

They shouldn't feel like they're being in some somehow invaded.

They should feel like there be loved unconditionally and everyone wants that.

Um, which goes to the equanimity peace.

The healthy merging.

Is?

Uh.

Is a state of unconditional positive regard towards that person?

So.

This is a question that comes up because People get to a certain depth with their practice and they start to experience. This merging I had this come up just a few days ago or someone.

Uh.

And then there noticing that People are sort of like pulling away from them or something.

Because it's like their focus is too intent an the Chinese have this expression.

Uh.

How can I translate it?

Want to chat.

Oh yeah, OK.

Tone down the light and share the dust. It means like don't share the dust, it means.

Don't blow ordinary humans away by.

Looking to like you belong to the nonhuman round, too much. It's a skill.

Well, I know, People tell me that you're supposed to share.

You know your innermost experience that students love that constant. I don't know if I buy that OK because do you really want that much information about your teachers? There is such a thing as TMI?

So right here, I'm going to take a chance now I got your attention.

OK, this is true OK.

Not a day goes by.

As that sometime bopping around in the world just interacting with People.

I will have this impish thought.

I'm passing for one of them.

They don't know they think I'm a regular.

North American human and of course, most of me is.

But but there's apartments Mount that's not human.

Uh.

Ann.

It's like they don't know basically deceived by the surface.

And it's sort of fun like someone I don't know getting away with passing for something that they're not back in the days when there was racism pulling the wool over their eyes anyway. Maybe that made no sense at all but you have to pass as a human.

One after after you've learned to contact a little bit of what is not human?

So you have to express that in a way that doesn't.

Weird People out and it takes some training take some training so the.

Uh.

So what characterizes that the reason I laughed when you said. Why do we merge is the real question is not? Why do reverse the real? Question is like? Don't we all merge? What happened that got in the way of what was originally there.

At birth.

That's all there was we were.

We were everything.

And then I can remember when the self arose within me as a separate. I don't have very good memory of childhood.

Of specific events.

But boy, I absolutely remember.

When my Personhood.

A rose.

Um than it was at an early age and it's like.

What something's changed?

Something's changed.

I used I used to just be happy, all the time for no reason.

And now I'm worrying and.

It was the arising of talk space.

Before that, it's like.

There were many issues like why am I not happy anymore.

Why am I constantly thinking about the past and the future?

I was like I didn't know what was happening to me and I couldn't stop it.

So the question is not why do we merge it's like? What happened that prevented us well? What happened was we?

Accumulated enough life experience that.

We developed a thinking mind, which is good, but it became a prison instantly.

Which is not so fit and then later on in life? We are now all making the great escape? What is practice? Is it's the great escape from that from that, so anyway to characterize the healthy versus unhealthy emerging?

Up.

What characterizes the healthy merging is you understand the mechanism why it happens?

Uh.

You.

Have control over it.

You when you do it, it doesn't weird People out.

And it you carry away just 112 taste as I mentioned the taste. After I've merged. I got bigger and I got cleaner and that's it. You don't carry away usually anything specific from the merging unless you decide that you want to do that. Unless I say in my long career. I mean, it was only a couple years into meditation, maybe a year into practice when I started to get some of that sense of inside and outside emerging OK that was uh.

Long long time ago and in this whole career. I've only twice intentionally merge for purpose tonight.

Told you about those 2 were.

By the way you folks may get a chance to merge with a mathematician.

Speaking math in front of you that you don't understand.

Maybe tonight preparing us sacred geometry, PowerPoint will see how that goes but anyway, so you just carry away and expanded identity and more elastic identity for having done.

Uhm you don't typically carry away something.

Um.

So that you.

It really doesn't make that much difference if you merge with a flower or garbage can or if you merge with us in Aurora St.

People are like really afraid I don't want to merge with the Psycho path. I'm going to you know now you won't pick up any psychopathology you just.

Incorporate that activity so.

Uh the

Unhealthy merging.

Is?

It doesn't have those characteristics.

You don't understand the mechanism you.

Carry away something other than empowerment, an purification and in fact, typically what you carry away is disempowerment.

Uh.

Identification with the aggressor order line personality issues that kind of stuff.

Uh.

Up.

So.

Healthy separation.

Is?

The well, I guess there's a psychological form of healthy separation.

But then there's like making the distinctions that are useful and empowering.

Meaning see here Feelin out restless wait OK. Those those kinds of separate separating the sensory elements. Those are those are empowering distinctions as a useful discrimination.

Um.

Disempowering distinction.

Is where a lot of People live?

Which is that fundamental sense that inside and outside are separated is a boundary of my existence starts with my skin and it's I versus it? Which then leads to US versus them. I call that unhealthy separation.

So anyway that's what I have to say about that.