Zero and One - Part 3 of 4

Divide and conquer time honored method work with each one individually. Go to talk space. I mean, it's just like going crazy. Rides just like no no no no no. No, you're crazy. You know you're going to hurt yourself. You don't have to do this.

And so let's just talk work with that and images images of.

Stabbing OK burning grinding torture you know it's like really those are just the rational images.

There's then there's the the hell realms. The archetypal images, where you start to like like look into the depths of Hell and beings you see being tortured and tormented all over the planet and all sorts of archetypal really weird. And like former lives of having been tortured and you know it's just all but it's just image.

Just image activity and then there's fear and rage and feel space and sad poor me. That's still the hardest one for me to deal with sort of deal with the fear and the anger stuff that sad for me that is so primitive.

I remember that boy that's the first feel I remember as a little baby like pour me sad.

So you get like the fear and the sad.

At a kind of impatience late.

An agitation don't want to sit still kind of flavor like an antsy when India Titias called Schpilkas. Yes, that's an inch focus. Yeah, those are you know the language means pins and needles kind of thing, so you've got like.

You know three at least 3 on comfortable fields and you got this crazy things going on in image and talk and then you've got like the local and global pain right there's the local.

Stab burn terror kind of stuff an you know it's like being site being beaten like it's being you get hit. You get like it a whole bunch of times pipe at my bank and then it just like ripples. The whole body of Bang Bang and then it goes Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang local and global right by bang and then it goes locally.

Propagates through your body space and subtle is significant those little pings. They're not nearly as intense is the local punches.

But actually that's where the bulk of the suffering is so work locally work globally work with in the touches zoom in zoom out sweep through it just throw everything I have at it and we're only to the three hour point there's another hour.

The first time I did it.

Towards the end of the 4 hours things started to break up a little bit.

That's along I know that's like wow. That's a long time.

But.

Doing it day after day after day after day week after week after week after week, there was learning see it's not about how much you can endure.

It's about how much you can learn from what you.

Do indoor so just to somehow in do or something if you don't learn from it by learning I mean, your cells don't learn you.

You know if you don't retrain the body. Then you just endured it. So it's better to go through something mild.

And have a clear learning experience than it is to somehow you know soldier through in a macho vein and somehow well, I endured it but.

If he didn't learn very much what's the point. If you learn, though it's worth it. So it's if I tell this telling this story. I'm realizing maybe it's not a good idea to tell stories like this, because People will think well. Gee if that's what you have to go through flu. I think I'll I'll take my enlightenment in a subsequent life.

But.

The issue is not what is not like OK, you're going to have to go through **** like this, if you want to get anywhere on this path that's not what I'm implying.

The issue is what can you learn by the time I was up for 4 hours since I mean, I'd already had 20 years of meditation practice this isn't.

Well, although actually when they started me in Japan. I had to go through things comparable, but not for 4 hours.

Maybe a couple hours so I already had a lot of experience and had worked with these phenomena and so forth so as I say the important thing is what you learn learning is some of it is intellectual, but primarily it's retraining your touch feel image talk circuits, so that they learn not to fight with them selves because it's the fighting with this. It's the fixation around this that causes the suffering not the intensity.

Of the touch feel image talk eruption.

So anyway, what started to happen on a pretty regular basis.

By you know a few after a few weeks of doing this every single day.

Is that it would sort of reach reach a certain intensity at the midpoint and then? It would like really dramatically break up. It didn't just get worse and worse and worse and worse endlessly. You think it's going to get worse and worse, but it's sort of.

It's an inverted parabolic thing OK. It's a goes up and then it like goes down.

And what goes down is not the intensity of sensation that just goes up.

What goes down is the suffering?

When you have an intensity of sensation an no suffering you have a taste of purification so there's actually a positive in that.

It's not just an absence of the suffering it's a presence of a kind of taste. I don't know how else to describe this. It's an awareness that because of how I'm experiencing this in this moment.

Every moment of my life to come will be different.

More fulfilling.

And the Holdings that I have from the past are being broken up. It's A kind of knowing I can't put it into words. It's A kind of knowing.

That the way that I'm experiencing this moment is cleaning out the past.

And creating a brighter future. I call it the taste of purification. Once that taste of purification comes on you actually are getting a reward in this.

And that's becomes a huge motivation to.

Explore the edges of experience so.

What eventually happened was?

That was that.

I came to know this territory, so intimately that as soon as I would sit down the pain would start at the same time. My thoughts would start and my emotions would start they'd all start at the same time.

The.

Talk image and feel reacting to the growing touch.

And as soon as they would start.

They would just flow together.

They'd float together into an integrated arabesque of Energi.

And as the pain got bigger and bigger and the thoughts and emotions arose more and more.

It just got more and more and more integrated so there was not.

And I.

Not so much of an there was still some of something of a sense of an eye.

Experiencing and it called pain, but not so much. Not so much as ordinarily be anyway. Let's put it that way.

There was a oneness between my thoughts and emotions.

Representing the I and the pain representing the IT.

And.

They.

Were they float together?

And gave this taste of purification.